Clint Eastwood has a pet bird, like in Beastmaster, or was it Ladyhawke? Anyway, the bird is a big juicy hawk, and it’s his best friend and everything, but then it dies. It turns out that this was only a flashback, and Clint was saved from a nasty man, so that’s alright for him, but not so good for the poor bird.

The bird’s name was David.

Clint has light blue bombardier eyes, except that he lives in a world where bombs haven’t been invented yet, or perhaps they’re magic bombs, or magic eyes.

So, Clint wanders around listening to soft rock and shooting people. His mule dies, so he shoots an entire village, or it could have been the other way around. Anyway, it’s like Django Unchained, except Clint’s after an evil wizard, not Leonardo DiCaprio.

So, he’s walking around meeting boys, and demons and stealing jawbones, but I suspect that he’s really looking for rabbits. He doesn’t find any.

I won’t spoil the rest for you, but I’m going to read the others too. I heard that there’s going to be a big shaggy dog who’s good with words.

I would rate this book two jawbones out of two. I would give it more but for the paucity of rabbits.